Sekarang udah jam 00.30 pagi tanggal 3 Maret 2013 dan hari ini tumben aku kena Insomnia --"
pas lagi browsing n liatin news feed fb ada pict dari Strawberrytelle Fanpage yang bikin aku senyum untuk pertama kalinya pada hari ini.
Ini ngingetin aku jaman dulu yang posesif n pengen taunya minta ampuunn hahahaaa... dan kalo udah tau dia itu siapa n gimana, misalkan dia itu ex-girlfriend, cewek yang deket sama pacarku, atau apalahh.. aku langsung jadi Spy express n nilai tuh cewek dari segi manapun dan pada akhirnya aku selalu menilai dia ga lebih dari aku.. jahat yaa.. :3
nah trus aku masuk ke fanpagenya liat ada postingan lama tentang LDR lagii.. dan ini postingan yang bikin aku netesin air mata setelah tersenyum di pagi buta, karena tulisan ini menggambarkan keadaan hubunganku sekarang =,=
The thing about LDR's is that not knowing when you'll ever get to see or see again the person you love most kills you deep inside.
Your faith and loyalty slowly deteriorates and you start to lose hope. Your knees grow weak. You get lazy. You get emotional. You start to get more and more frustrated and the worse part is, if you on your behalf can't do anything about it (which there will always or most of the time be something you can do about it) you end up taking it out on the person you love.
You start to pressure them and the tension grows. Verbally you support each other about hanging in there and saying that things will be alright but nothing really happens. It's like temporary relief. It becomes more and more painful. Unbearable. Up to the point that the both of you can't handle it anymore because you'll never know when you'll ever see each other or see each other again.
There's no "Assurance".
Relying solely on trust and faith... but sometimes trust and faith in relationships just doesn't really carry it all. It drains your body and soul physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally until you just drop it all and give up.
...but...
If and when you do get that "assurance" in whatever form it may be, all the things you've lost return back to you. The love, the blood, the sweat, the tears. EVERYTHING. You feel like you're so alive again! Like it's the very last leg of the race. It's a sprint to the finish line. All you gotta do from there on out is survive.
The waiting part is such a killer but the moment you can finally see your eye on the prize which is seeing each other or seeing each other again, you feel like you're so alive like you're the king/queen of the world and the only thing left stopping you or holding you back is merely time.
Sounds stupid, I know. The whole assurance thing somewhat contradicts the thought of believing, trusting, keeping the faith and staying loyal throughout everything but once you see it; it's like you've seen the finish line, like you've been hit with lightning, and all you gotta do is run to it.
Nothing's gonna stop you.
Once you see that goal;
Run, lovers, run. :]
sekian deh.. Met pagi ajaa, waktunya tidur, untung aja hari ini hari minggu :)
tapi tetep aja weekend masih kepikiran tugas numpuk. hmmmfftt
tapi tetep aja weekend masih kepikiran tugas numpuk. hmmmfftt
